So I didn’t receive any feedback comments from ‘Elevator
Pitch No. 2’. Because of that, I took it upon myself to review some areas of
the pitch that could be improved. I also utilized the feedback comments I
received from ‘Elevator Pitch No. 1’. Feedback from that recording included advice such as
Emote some more
Provide a better explanation of the logistics
Introduce the market demographic early in the pitch
After watching the pitch, the first thing I noticed was that
the camera angle was crooked – a simple mistake that I fixed in this recording.
I also found that my explanation of a ‘Community Supported Agriculture’ model
(CSA) was kind of convoluted in the previous recording. I made sure to provide
a more direct explanation in this one.
While there were some "awkward" points in the elevator pitch, I think that it was an improvement over the the previous two. I was able to introduce a different logistics model, get my ideas across fairly well, and did not rely on random statistics I found online.
While there were some "awkward" points in the elevator pitch, I think that it was an improvement over the the previous two. I was able to introduce a different logistics model, get my ideas across fairly well, and did not rely on random statistics I found online.
Roy,
ReplyDeleteYour explanation regarding the logistics is quite thorough in your pitch leaving me with a basic understanding of your concept. Additionally, the angle is much better from your previous pitch and your attire/setting is spot on per usual. From here on out, I would only recommend working on delivery. Perhaps adding more variation in your tone will make you appear more enthusiastic about your product!
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ReplyDeleteRoy,
ReplyDeleteWell done job overall, the concept of your business is better explained which is great. Obviously since you brought in new information into your pitch the only thing left would be practice to make it sound smoother and more natural. Also good eye for the camera angle, obviously in future situations where you need to be recorded that is something to keep an eye on. Besides that, a job well done.